The Sexuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex brings immense significance and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the opportunity More Bonuses to have sex with someone we are attracted to incredibly tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing effective feelings of attraction, excitement, wellness, love, and nearness .

However when issues arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They more than likely wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that numerous of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in urbane areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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